July 20, 2017
The New York Times published a column back in April in which they openly wondered if there were “positive things” we were missing about Donald Trump and even solicited readers to send such positive thoughts to them at: firstname.lastname@example.org An actual excerpt from this exhortation : “we’re looking for a few positive words about the president, and we’re asking for your help… It’s not another forum for debating the issues. It is a place to point out positive things Mr. Trump has said or done from the viewpoint of The New York Times and its readers. [emphasis theirs]”
So, in full view of The New York Times (bastion of a free press, the “liberal media” and oh, don’t make me puke), here is my nowhere near exhaustive “Thank You” letter to Donald Trump for all the good he has done thus far. I have also sent a copy to email@example.com, perhaps if you can think of some nice, sweet things about Donald Trump, you can send them to the NY Times as well.
Thank you Donald Trump for showing that even the most bigoted, racist, misogynistic [and one standard deviation below the mean] homophobe can now legitimately have presidential aspirations – you have given hope to so many.
Thank you Donald for bringing Kellyanne Conway and Alternative Facts into our lives. Alternate Facts, Alternate Universe, Alternate Reality – perhaps she is giving us clues and you are just “Bizarro” President. (some will get it)
The cast and crew of Saturday Night Live thank you for the best ratings the show has had in over 20 years.
Thanks for making watching Senate hearings so popular – besides all the ghastly confirmation hearings, did you know movie theaters and other venues aired the Comey hearing live? Who’d a thought? You did that, way to go!
A special thanks for the Betsy Devos hearing where it was proven that no matter how inept and completely lacking in experience someone may be, anyone can get a Presidential Cabinet position as long as they bribe, I mean “give campaign donations to” enough people on the committee evaluating them (well, like, every Republican). And it’s all legal too. Isn’t that great? So, thanks for that, Donald.
In fact, thanks for the whole Cabinet and your team of advisers, particularly Mick Mulvaney, Scott Pruitt, Steve Mnuchin, Tim Price, Betsy Devos, Jeff Sessions, Steve Bannon and Stephen Miller. You have given so many sociopaths government jobs, you must be running some kind of halfway house treatment program. Or maybe just a halfway government? Naw, he just likes to be surrounded with assholes like him!
Thank you for showing us just how broken our political system is: the “checks and balances” of the three branches of government are meaningless when those in the Legislative Branch (that would be Congress) in a position to be checking and balancing, completely abdicate the responsibility to do so.
Thanks for giving us Sean Spicer hiding in the bushes.
Thanks for giving us the first Triumvirate of the United states: the three hosts at “Fox and Friends” that you take your cues from. Puppet.
Thanks for putting your abusive co-dependent relationship with the corporate media on full display. No matter how much you block them out, and how badly you mistreat and abuse the corporate media, they will always come back. You need them. They need you. You only care about yourself and self-aggrandizement. They only care about ratings – democracy, freedom of the press, and holding power to account be damned. Sad.
Thanks for bringing the art of knitting to a new generation as they knit pussy hats in your honor. Pussy Grabber. Ooh-ooh now we have many ‘Madame LeFarge[s]’ ready when the peons start the guillotining!!
And thanks for the pussy grabbing by the way – which is now incorporated into official White House visits with the Girl Scouts. Ewwww; and wouldn’t that upset Ivanka??
Thank you on behalf of bleach manufacturers. Now that Klan rallies are in vogue and white supremacist rats are comfortable enough to crawl out of the woodwork – they gotta keep those whites white. And pressed. Usin’ a lot o’ bleach.
Thanks for proving to be an equal opportunity employer and giving both of your wives positions in the White House. Melania and Ivanka.
Thanks for all the deregulation! With getting rid of OSHA rules, EPA Clean Air and Clean Water regulations, gutting labor laws and corporate oversight in general, and putting everyone back to work in the coal mines, it’ll be just like living in the Victorian Era – and I’ve always wanted to do that.
Thanks for all the hypocrisy. Where to begin and end with this? How about: I’m sure all the Republicans would be as tight-lipped with Hillary as they are with you when it comes to nepotism – another lovely word climbing back up the lexicon ladder these days. What would they say if her completely unqualified daughter sat at the adult’s table at the G20, or if her equally unqualified son-in-law were given every major task of governing to handle while she went golfing? Mum’s the word.
Thanks for your Climate Change ignorance and pushing for more oil and coal usage. With all that extra global warming here in Appalachia, participants in the ‘Mountains to Sea Trail’ race will be relieved that the race will get shorter every year.
Also thanks to your help with promoting more fossil fuel use and hence accelerated global warming, can’t wait for my real estate investment in Raleigh to become beach front property!!! Ignorant jackass.
Congratulations! Because of you, so many third graders now know the word “emoluments”. It’s a fancy word for “bribe” – can you say “emoluments,” Donald? No? Well, just say “bribe,” I’m sure you know what that is.
And thanks for all the winning. We’re gonna win all the way to the end … of it all.
I’m saving my celebration for when he is guillotined on the WH lawn!